LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
