Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
