If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
