people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
