wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
this is an emotional support booty call
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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