question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I AM VODKA MAN
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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