and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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