shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
