i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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