I just made out with a guy for $7.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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