I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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