Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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