anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
