Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
