She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
