yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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