Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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