First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
