I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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