She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize