The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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