You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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