Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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