nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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