I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
