I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
