i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
thus making me awesome and them whores
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How does one acquire holy water?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
