exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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