at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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