Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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