I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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