is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
