One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
