He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize