As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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