we have officially lost it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
