wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
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she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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