playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
