How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
