It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
