As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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