No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
