Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
