It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
