the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
