haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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