found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
