Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
