Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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