3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
