me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
