Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
