im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
