You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
