i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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