Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
