life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize