I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize