so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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