Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
