Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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