I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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